I thought I had done what was asked by Blogging 101 but on actually reading it in more clearly, I realised I didn’t do as asked. My mother wouldn’t be shocked about that if she were here! She would say “what a surprise”… (sarcastically).
There was one poignant thing I did get out of commenting on a blog in the last couple of days. It was on reading Lyrallya’s About Me posts where she said “I would love to be able to look back on my life later on and remember all the little things that might seem insignificant today but that end up being the memories that really made me in who I will have become”.
This in a way was particularly significant to me when I read it as I had just had a visit from my first boyfriend. Now I am 54 and this was my “FIRST” boyfriend so we are talking about 37 years ago!!! Now we have met up twice in the last year and the first time was actually confronting and difficult.
I didn’t recognise him – simple as that – I had a stranger before me. Long gone was the skinny kid with the long brown curly hair and in his place was an older man (early 50s) with greying hair and a goatee beard… He sounded the same and we knew things about each other but my eyes didn’t know this person.
Second time around it was easier than the first time as I knew what to expect and Hey I’m sure he felt the same when he saw me.. I’ve changed too.
After this second visit I have been feeling somewhat strange. He brought pictures with him from our time together. I could have sworn it wasn’t me, I didn’t remember where we were, the clothes I was wearing or the bag I was carrying… no not me! Then I saw another photo that I recognised yes it was me… how could my memory deceive me. My formative years wiped out. In conversation I couldn’t remember very much of our time together and somehow felt cheated. I have been wandering around for a few days now trying to work out how I feel. I know there is nothing I can do about it and have to let it go but I do wish I could get that time back to savour the memories and appreciate them.
In my comment to Lyrallya I thought it was a good idea to document your life as you go. Back in my day 🙂 there were no computers (shock, horror) and I didn’t have the luxury of a mobile phone with camera to document every move and put it on Facebook. I am sure this would have helped me relive our time together over and over so that I would have memories later in life. Where were you computers, blogs, Facebook, mobile phones…. where were you!!
So from now on as each memory cell in my head is precious I will document everything and take lots of photos to help me to remember these times now in the future and not be a stranger to myself later on.
Note to self!